January
20
2010
I guess this is one of the downsides of being single again. I just can’t seem to sleep anymore.
It’s kind of a big joke in the family and with all of my close friends, this reality that I can function on so little sleep. 3-4 hours really isn’t a big deal for me.
But, somehow, when I wasn’t single I found sleep much easier to find at night. I miss that about being with her. I miss the calmness of my mind. The way I was centered when she was with me. My mind would stop racing, my body would relax and sleep would come. It wan’t unusual for me to sleep a full 8 hours in a night, sometimes more.
But here I am, once again, staring at the clock. Listening to the nighttime sounds of the neighborhood around me. Wishing that somehow I could find the peace, the calmness, the comfort of a full night’s rest. I might not need it to function tomorrow, but I miss the way I felt when I was able to sleep easily. Maybe someday I’ll find that peace once again.
January
18
2010
So, according to WeatherBug we got 1.83″ of rain here in Encinitas in the first 24 hours of storms for the week. That’s a lot of rain for San Diego. Can’t wait to see how much more we get as the week progresses.
One side benefit of all this rain… I have my afternoons off all week since we can’t hold soccer practice at the Polo Club when the weather is like this. 
January
18
2010
I have to say I am very pleased that it is raining outside.
I know most people in So. Cal. hate it when it rains. But I find it refreshing. As though we are getting a good rinse down as the new year starts. Like we’ll all have a fresh clean slate to start from when this week is out.
I love the sound of the rain on my roof as I’m drifting off to sleep. It’s soothing and almost reassuring. Water, after all, is essential to life. It’s a fundamental necessity. Sure it’s gray and dark while the rain is here, but I look forward to what it leaves us. The greener hills, the cleaner air, the absence of drought conditions for the So. Cal. region. It’s all good.
So enjoy the rain. I am.
January
18
2010
So after a day or two of thinking about it I forgot or decided to add a couple more items:
I will learn to Ballroom Dance this year.
I will learn to play the guitar this year.
I will act more this year.
I will direct a film this year.
I’ll add more if they come to me.
January
16
2010
So I’ve spent the last few days thinking a lot about the future.
It’s time to set some new goals in my life. I turn 35 in May, so maybe I should look back at the goals I had set for myself and see if they’ve come to pass.
There were really only a couple of major goals I had set for myself when I was 30 to have accomplished by the time I was 35.
- To produce a feature film by 35.
Accomplished. “What’s The Vig?” and Iraq and Beyond. - Have my own place.
Accomplished. Moved into my own place in October 2009. - Get my finances out of chaos.
In progress with major advances at the end of 2009. - Have my own production company up and running.
Accomplished. Dawson Digital has been in existence since 2004. We’ve produced two features (1 narrative, 1 documentary and multiple shorts with a whole shelf of awards and achievements.)
That’s really it. That’s all the major goals I had set for myself at 30. (Funny that I didn’t actually start to take care of two of those items until just recently.)
Now 35… what are my goals like now? I think I’ll set them at a more reasonable 12-18 months setting now. That way I don’t wait 4-5 years to get around to them like this last time.
David’s 2010 Goals:
- To continue to improve my personal financial situation.
This includes:
Finally eliminating debt to IRS and FTB
Settling into acceptable agreements on Student Loans - Grow Dawson Digital’s business by a factor of 10.
Dawson Digital was about a $100,000.00 business in 2009. I intend to bring Dawson Digital to a $1M business in the next 18 months. This will be done through a variety of means. Expanding and exploring new ventures for the company, like our iPhone business and Team Ordering software. Establishing business partnerships to expand our reach, hello Blue Horse and Trumpet! And maybe, taking on some new bold ventures only spoken about in the past. Things that aren’t “polite to talk about” in casual conversation, but have the potential to make us millions. - Continue to improve my health.
I will lose more weight. I’m thinking a final weight of 210 lbs by this time next year.
I completely quit smoking in 2010.
Maybe I will add in some goal, like running a half-marathon or something. Let’s see how busy the year is as it progresses, yeah? - In all that I do, I will listen to my heart.
Maybe this seems like a weird thing to have in “goals.” But the past few months, and really the past couple of years have shown me how incredibly hard it can be to listen to your own voice in life. It’s so easy to be swayed off of your own path when others are telling you to do something completely different. From the common advice of family and friends about your personal life, to the constant drone of the media over how bad the economy is. It’s easy to let other people’s opinions move you in directions you didn’t mean to go. So this is an actual goal for me. I’m not going to let others dictate my response to the world around me. I will listen to my own voice, follow my own heart and charge forward on my own path.
I think that’s it. I think those are my main goals for the next 12-18 months. Let’s get to it!
January
10
2010
So it’s not quite two weeks in to the year 2010 and I thought I’d take a moment to put down some thoughts on the year so far.
I remember being a kid and watching the movie 2010: The Year We Make Contact and thinking that 2010 was sooooo very far off. Can’t believe I’m actually living in the year now. It’s kind of crazy. It was always one of those sort of intangible milestones that I spoke about, but somehow, never really thought would come.
I don’t know how to explain it, but knowing that it is now the year 2010 is just a bit surreal for me.
So far the year has been a pretty strange one. I’m frightfully busy with projects for work. Somehow our business has managed to survive the economic downturn as though it never existed. This is good, as it has made all of us around here a lot more calm while the world seemed to be falling apart around us.
And yet, somehow, even with the blessings of all of this work I find myself longing for something different. Perhaps it’s a symptom of my recently becoming single again, but I am experiencing a great deal of wander-lust. Meaning, I have a huge urge to travel again. To just drop all that I’m doing and go start something completely new… preferably abroad. You know, a complete change of lifestyle, culture and business.
Who knows if I’ll actually pursue it. But the thoughts are all on my mind again. Last time I had this sort of desire I ended up working for Gold Coast traveling all over the country doing corporate events and concerts.
But, this is 2010! Not 1999. And my life is quite a bit different now. I am furiously working on finding the right angle to get Dawson Digital super successful. Not just for me, but for my siblings and their families and for my Mom. I honestly believe that if I work hard enough I can provide an incredible security for all of them through this company I started with Theresa and Dad. On that turn, we are actively working on iPhone App development, commercial video and graphic design work and even trying to figure out how to market our Team Ordering software system that’s been in development for over 2 years. Recently Karl has stated an interest in helping us with that one. I’ll meet with him when I return from working in Vegas this week to see what we can do.
Any one of these software pieces of the Dawson Digital pie has the potential to turn us all into millionaires. I really feel like this year we are right on the verge of finally realizing all that we have been pushing for since Dad died.
We shall see.
On a personal note, I am generally pretty happy. I am still sorting out how to deal with my broken heart. I’m not angry, or bitter. Just sad and confused. Hopeful for what the future holds, but still wishing that the future was something I was pursuing with the woman I love. Not something I am building alone. But you never know what the future holds for you. Do you?
I have found that since the year began I am terribly late for almost everything. I mean, I just can’t seem to show up on time for any appointments. At all! Wonder if that will settle down as the year progresses, or if that’s a new behavior pattern for me.
I will be turning 35 this May. 35 is a big number for me. I’m reaching some turning points in my life. Some markers that I have set for myself many moons ago are quickly approaching. It’s time, I guess, to really evaluate who I am again, and what I want to do with myself. A good thing to do periodically I feel. But somehow, this year, it all feels so much more… heavy.
I’m going to try and chronicle my thoughts more often this year. I have a feeling it’s going to be a good year to keep track of. I feel change in the wind. It’ll be good to see how I react to it all. Someday down the road I have a feeling I’ll be able to look back at the posts from this year and say, “AHA! You see! That was where this all began!”
Here I go.
December
23
2009
Singing with Alissa at our Christmas Karaoke party.
Seeing baby Kale (1 yr. old) gently nurse his older brother Mikey (6 yr. old) who was feeling sick.
The look on Alissa’s face when she broke up with me. That was devestating. 
December
3
2009
This song sums up how I’m going about my life right now.
A Better Man – Keb’ Mo’
Sittin’ here in my problem
What am I gonna do now?
Am I gonna make it?
Someway, somehow.
Maybe I’m not supposed to know
Maybe I’m supposed to cry
And if nobody ever knows
The way I feel
It’s all right
And it’ll be ok
(Chorus:)
I’m gonna make my world a better place
I’m gonna keep that smile on my face
I’m gonna teach myself how to understand
I’m gonna make myself a better man
Climbing out of the window
Climbing up the wall
Is anybody gonna save me?
Or are they gonna let me fall?
Well I don’t really wanna know
I´ll just hold on the best I can
And if I fall down
I´ll just get back up
It’ll be alright
It’ll be ok
(Chorus 2x)
Maybe I’m not supposed to know
Maybe I’m supposed to cry
And if nobody ever knows
The way I feel
That’s all right
It’ll be ok
(Chorus 2x)
December
1
2009
They say breaking up is hard to do. I don’t know if that statement is from the perspective of the dumper, or the dumpee.
Speaking as the dumpee, it sucks.
But I survived the loss of my father over two years ago, and while this feels very similar to that, I know that this pain too will pass.
One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. But I’ll get through it.
I still love her. And I really do want to remain her friend, and I hope for all the happiness in the world for her. That’s all I ever wanted for her really.
I know not what tomorrow brings. I only know that I have control of my own decisions, and no one else’s. I will forge ahead on my own path. I will do what my heart feels is right and I will not do things just because it’s what is “expected of me”.
Go me. Go on.
November
25
2009
This is me at 243lbs.
Had a really great time today.
Ran my very first studio photography shoot. We were shooting images for a new iPhone app we are working on for a client. (Should launch early 2010! Be on the lookout here for more information!)
Got Bryan to snap a pic of me before we left. Turned out really nice. What do you think? I think the weight loss is really starting to show.
November
23
2009
Thank you to all who joined us today for our Friendsgiving.
Friendsgiving is a time where we give thanks for the friendships we have. A special time to celebrate the bonds between us. To remember the good times we’ve shared, the hardships we have helped each other overcome and to look ahead to the new adventures we will soon share.
So today, I raise my glass to all my friends (including those who weren’t here today) and say thank God for you! You’re the wind beneath my wings! 
November
20
2009
Just an update for my family and friends.
I am fine. The last few weeks have been confusing and difficult and definitely not what I had imagined for myself at this point.
But I am strong. This too, shall pass, and I will overcome.
Fear not for me. I am here, and I will be fine.
October
25
2009
So, I’m not going to go into details here in my blog… but this weekend has been a major one for me. Some serious stuff went down on Friday night and I’ve been trying to cope with it all weekend.
I basically got blind sided by some incredibly unwanted news on Friday and it’s left me confused, and devastated. However, I’m staying hopeful that what happened can be fixed, or mended in time and that once repaired things will be even better than they’ve ever been before.
No matter what, I know who I am… I am solid with my personal happiness and I am ready to tackle whatever comes tomorrow with dignity, grace and strength.
Go me.
October
22
2009
In fact, I made it to the PopStar Finals show on the last day of the cruise. Here’s the performance from the final and one of my competition nights:
It was a special treat to get to perform in front of a crowd with my Mom watching. It was like a dream come true for her, and I was happy knowing how proud she was watching me do my thing.
October
22
2009
My Mom sang Crazy on our cruise. It was the first time I’d seen her perform publicly since the 1990’s. She was amazing. Such a natural performer.
I love you Mom!
September
15
2009
What's The Vig? DVD Cover Art
Our feature film, What’s The Vig? is now available as a Special Edition DVD for purchase online!
The Special Edition DVD includes two audio commentary tracks and two deleted scenes with introductions by the director and assistant director. This is a must have for your DVD collection!
Purchase at Amazon.com
Purchase at CreateSpace.com (To receive a 15% discount use code: 2WGMQ8TA)
September
11
2009
I have my own feelings about 9.11. They don’t necessarily jibe with the viewpoints of a number of my friends. My visit to Ground Zero in 2007 was incredibly sad and moving. I had to find a bench at one point to sit down on because my knees were buckling and tears were coming from the overwhelming grief I felt. So pointless, so sad.
But we can all agree that the loss of life that day was tragic.
So let us all remember those who were lost that day, those who acted heroically and those who lost someone they loved.
The Cross at Ground Zero
September
5
2009
Baby Kale turned 1.
I can’t believe my nephew Kale is 1 now.
Last year his birth came on the heels of the 1 year anniversary of my Dad’s passing. It was a bittersweet introduction to the world.
This year, he got a party (mostly his older brothers’ friends), he got presents, lots of love from lots of people and a blue cupcake.
He was so cute running around the yard laughing and playing with his brothers and all the other children.
Today was a joyous night. I listened to Kale’s laughter, I listened to Aiden sing Disney songs and I played video games with Mikey who continues to blow me away with how quickly he picks up computers.
Life is definitely continuing in this family and Theresa’s only six months away from adding a new addition to the mix. Somewhere I know my Dad is smiling and saying that life is as it should be.
August
27
2009
Mick's Final Christmas
Two years ago today we lost my Dad, Mick Dawson.
He was our Father, our Friend, our Inspiration, our Partner and our Biggest Fan.
Please take a moment today to remember him and if you have a chance, watch What’s The Vig? or visit our Vimeo page and watch him in Spoof Wars: Generation Jedi: Episode MICK.
Remember to take care of yourselves and love each other every day!
All our best.
The Dawson Family